Dhaniah Suhana

The Curator.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word: 3 Ways To Help Reconcile Ties

This is the simplest, and yet, hardest thing that we can bring ourselves to do this Ramadan. But don't fret, because these 3 tips will help you out.

Adapted from an article in Malay written by Ustaz Muhammad Faminallah Zainuddin titled “Manfaatkan Ramadan Jalin Semula Silaturahim yang Terputus”.

In our interactions with other people, misunderstandings can easily occur. While two people can share a close, loving kinship, a simple misunderstanding can cause them to grow apart. So sad, right?

Of the many good deeds that we can do in order to earn spiritual rewards within the month of Ramadan, the easiest one, which has immense spiritual reward, is repairing our bonds with others.

The Prophet s.a.w. emphasised:

"Reconcile with those who have broken their ties with you. Give gifts to those who are reluctant to do the same for you, and do not avoid those who are cruel to you."


So in this holy month, let's work to get rid of the ever-thickening layers of our egos, as well as rise up to the challenges that we may potentially face as we begin the good work of reconciling our broken ties with others.

Here are 3 ways to help us along:

Create Opportunities for Communication

Soften your heart and be the first to reach out. According to Ibnu Amu Jamrah, this can even be done through the help of others to inform the other party of your intentions.

If you live far away from each other, re-establish the connection through the sending of greetings or writing letters. And if you can afford it, it would be best to meet face to face and pay the person a visit.

Only Keep the Good Stuff

In our efforts to reconcile ties, it is best that we try to see the good within our family members and friends. Do not keep thinking of the mistakes made or assign blame regarding who was truly right or wrong, because these are the things that will keep eliciting hatred.

Forgive and Seek Forgiveness

As human beings, aren’t mistakes inescapable? So it is admirable to be able to expand our hearts and forgive the people who have wronged us. Don’t be swayed by evil thoughts that keep fuelling past flames.

And if we realise that we were the one in the wrong, then let us be the bigger person and admit our mistake. Do not be ashamed to apologise, because admitting a mistake and apologising for it can never diminish one’s moral character or tarnish one’s reputation and can only increase one’s integrity.

So have we made enough effort to reconcile with the people who have severed ties with us? Or have we only kept quiet and simply let the ties get severed, because we feel that it wasn't us who had severed them?

Of course, reconciliation is not something that is easy to do, especially if we feel that we are in the right, or the party who got hurt.

But if we do it with sincerity and for the sake of Allah, we will surely taste the sweetness of the results, especially in the month of Ramadan when Allah's rewards are multiplied.

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